Moving on up

At some point you have to let certain things go. But you know that’s hard! That’s really hard and it hurts. Remembering things that hurt you is painful, but you have to do it in order to move on and be the best you.

I really struggle with this sometimes. I really struggle to let the things and the words that have hurt me in the past go and that affects me now. Finally figuring out that this problem I have with letting things go is weaved into why I have anxiety and panic attacks at times has been both so extremely helpful but also upsetting.

I realised that it’s okay to not want to deal with things and to hold on to hurtful words for a period of time. But it’s not okay to hold on to it forever. I  want to grow and change and be the best version of myself and to do that I have to let things go. I have to let betrayals, heartbreaks, words from the mouths of bullies and yes even my own self doubt go. I have to let the feeling of not being good enough go. I have to understand that I am enough for myself and for those who matter.

It’s not easy for me, but at least I’ve made a start by actually seeing what I need to do. I don’t need to be afraid or upset about things that don’t matter anymore. I do however owe it to myself to give myself a break and a clean start. I might not be able to get rid of every dirty mark on the wall, but they will fade and I can’t paint over it until it’s not as noticeable anymore, until I forget it was even ever there.


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